My Little Pony: TG is Trouble
by ZizumTG
Summary: Spike thinks that he would have better chances with Rarity if he was a pony. But what happens if Spike gets what he wanted and a little bit more? This is my second crossdressing / gender bender fanfic. FINISHED STORY.
1. Part 1

Note: This story takes place after third season, came out before fourth.

Few weeks passed since Twilight became princess and returned from Canterlot. Celestia decided that it's time for Twilight to take some royal responsibilities. Therefore, she announced that this year Grand Galloping Gala would take place in Ponyville.  
Needless to say that Twilight was freaked out.

"Ok Spike, did I forget anything? Did Pinkie finish setting up the decorations?"  
"They've been ready since yesterday." said Spike  
"What about food? Has someone taken care of meals for everypony?"  
"Applejack said there's twice as much food as we need. Same from Cakes."  
"What about the orchestra? They have all the members and instruments?"  
"For a sixth time, yes." sighed Spike  
"...what about decoration? Did Pinkie..."  
"Twilight, calm down! " interrupted her Spike "We went through this list a thousand times. You thought about everything."  
"You're right Spike, I should take it easy." Twilight sat to catch a breath, when someone knocked to door.  
"I'll get it." Spike opened the doors and his eyes turned into hearts when he saw who had knocked "Oh, h-hi Rarity."  
"Hello Spike. Is Twilight home?"  
"Sure, come in." the young dragon opened the doors wider and bowed like a servant. Immediately he started thinking of ways to impress before he could do anything, Twilight walked into room ""Hi Rarity,  
what brings you here?"  
"Urgent matters darling. I know you're busy with preparations for The Galloping Gala and all, but I just realized that you still haven't come by the shop for a new dress."  
"I already have dress for a party." Twilight pulled from her wardrobe her blue dress (as seen in the episode "Suited For Success".)  
"That old rag?" said Rarity with dismay "Twilly, this was fashionable LAST season! No, I insist that you come to my workshop and for a new one!"  
Twilight rolled her eyes, but she knew that there was no point in arguing with Rarity about fashion.  
Meanwhile Spike came back holding so many books, that they covered his face.  
"Hey Twilight, I brought those books that you wanted." said Spike, trying to not show how hard it is. "You said they were heavy, but I easily took them at..."  
Spike never finished, because he slipped on one of the scrolls and ended up sprawled on the ground covered in books.  
The girls stopped their talking "Are you okay Spike?"  
"I'm fine."  
"All right" they left the small dragon to clean up the mess he'd made.  
"You're a princess now Twilight. You'll be the center of attention; all the celebrities, artist, handsome stallions..."  
"Stallions?" Twilight said with a blush, and a small smile.  
"Why yes, as I said, you're a princess now. Who knows, you may meet your prince at the Gala, some charming stallion, with long wavy mane and strong hooves..." Now it was Rarity's turn to blush and smile.  
"Like Blueblood?" Twilight asked sarcastically.  
Rarity grimaced at memory of the stallion that she'd had a crush on, until she found out that he was an egocentric jerk.  
"Fine, looks aren't everything. But still, you need a new dress."  
"All right, all right, you've convinced me." Twilight surrendered "Give me fifteen minutes and we'll meet at your place."  
"Wonderful. See you later" Rarity called out as she left the building.

In the meantime Spike dug his way out of the books he'd been buried under. He wasn't very happy after what he'd heard.  
"Ugh, why do I even try? Rarity could never fall in love with me. I'm not even a pony, my cold blood will never be as warm as hers. My shards will never be as beautiful as her mane. My claws will never be... as good as hooves... for some reason!"  
Then an idea popped into his mind.  
"Hey, Twilight! Do you have some time to spare?"  
"I have an appointment with Rarity in fifteen minutes, so..."  
"Great" interrupted Spike "time for some quick transformation training."  
In a flash Spike dragged Twilight in the middle of the room.  
"Ready?" Spike pulled staff to point her targets "That book into pillow."  
Twilight pretty much involuntarily went with training.  
"Orange into apple."  
ZAP.  
"Candle into bulb."  
ZAP.  
"Apple back to orange."  
ZAP.  
"Dragon into pony!"  
"Wait, what?"  
ZAP.  
Twilight realized what Spike said a moment before firing and changed it's direction at the last blast hit a stool instead of Spike. The stool's legs changed into horse legs. The stool used them to escape through the window.  
"Only legs?" worried Spike "I guess that's a start."  
"Spike! What did I tell you about transforming living being? It's dangerous and difficult magic!"  
"Yes, but now you're an alicorn..."  
"It's still very complicated magic. And it can't be used for trivial reasons!" Twilight sighted heavily "It's about what Rarity said, isn't?"  
"Yes..." He looked down at the floor ashamed.  
"I'm really sorry Spike but I can't help you with that." Twilight looked on clock. "I should go now. You can take the rest of the day off. Try to relax and forget about it."  
"Okay..." said Spike unconvinced.

A bit later Spike was sauntering through the forest.  
"Stupid transformation spells, what's the point of them if even alicorn can't use them?" Spike crossed a bridge "Who can be better with transformations than alicorns?"  
Then Spike heard someone humming. He looked around, but no one was there. After a second it got to him that this humming was coming from underwater. Dragon looked down and to his surprise he saw a familiar face.  
"Discord?"  
Yes, Discord himself was walking on the bottom of the river.  
"Spike?" Draconequus looked up. "What are you doing underwater?"  
"I'm not underwater, you are."  
"Right, I forgot." Discord jumped upwards, making an underwater splash with air-drops. "Long time no see dragon boy. How's Twilight and other girls?"  
Spike hesitated. Not long ago Discord had become a force for good, but Spike still felt a bit uncomfortable with the crazyreality shifter around. Then again, it could be an answer to his problems.  
"They're fine. Say, what are you doing in Ponyville?"  
"Oh you know how it is. Celestia wants me to help ponies, learn how to be good and send her letters about friendship and such. I heard The Grand Galloping Gala is coming so I thought I'd check if I could lend a hand."  
That was exactly what Spike wanted to hear.  
"I could use your help. You can transform living beings, right?"  
"Best there is. What kind of creature do you want to be? Cockatrice?  
Griffin? Minotaur? Draconequus?" with each proposition Discord changed  
into the mentioned creature (last one being himself).  
"A pony" Spike said with a smile.  
"A pony? Like Twilight and others?"  
"Exactly" Spike answered.  
Discord made cranky face.  
"I swear, I'll never understand you people. What's fun in having hoofs?"  
Discord started flying around Spike.  
"So let me get this straight. You want to be less, shardy" Discord snapped his fingers and suddenly Spike was in bunny costume.  
"Yes." said Spike taking it off  
"Less fire-breathing?" Discord pulled Spike tail, which caused him to fire a small flame, which turned into Discord.  
"Yes!"  
"Even less... gems-eating?" Discord pulled from his back bowl filled with diamonds.  
Spike start drooling, but he quickly snap out of it.  
"Y-yes."  
"Your choice." Discord started eating them. "Wait, what am I doing?"  
He snapped his fingers and gems burst into flames.  
"Much better." ex-villain continued his meal  
"Discord..."  
"Don't worry boy, we're under water."  
"So will you help me or not?"  
"I'm not sure. Celestia told me to stop messing with laws of physics. Then again, I am supposed to help my friends." Discord snapped his fingers, making the bowl disappear "Ok, let's do it."  
Discord teleported few feet away from Spike. Young dragon notice that he has a bullseye on him.  
"Now don't move. Deliberate transformation from one species to another is much harder than making random mutation."  
Discord moved his hands like he was using invisible bow. A small shaft of energy showed up where the arrow should be. Spike gulped but didn't moved.  
And then he was blinded by a flash of light.

Spike slowly opened his eyes.  
"What the..." Spike looked at his hands "I got hooves! It worked!"  
Then he paused, surprised by sound of his voice. He expected it to be different, but not so... high. Something was not right.  
Spike slowly moved to river and looked in his reflection.  
Thick wavy mane. Slim attractive face. Long fluttering eyelashes!  
Spike screamed with his new girly voice.  
"Ugh, a 'thank you' would be enough." Discord covered his ears.  
"Thank you? You turned me into a mare!"  
"Well duh! When I hear 'pony', I think a mare. Put that word in Google, do you see any males?"  
"But...Why... Just change me back!"  
"I'm afraid it's impossible, right now at least." A blackboard appeared behind Discord, taking some chalk from it he started making complicated notations. "As I said it's very difficult magic. Your body cannot take more changes in that short amount of time. Not the mention that I'm totally drained."  
Discord finish his writing with tic-tac-toe.  
"So you're stuck like that for more less...twelve hours."  
"Twelve hours? What do I do till then?"  
"Don't know. But look for a bright sides: you got those hooves that you wanted so much. (Seriously, I don't get it)" said Discord who settled in for a nap on the river and floated away leaving poor Spike to his problems.

At first Spike decided to wait it out in forest. Unfortunately, it was rather boring, plus he (or rather she) was getting hungry.  
After long hesitation (and learning how to walk with four legs) Spike decided to go back to her relief no one seemed to recognize her. Spike used one of windows as a mirror to give herself a second look.  
The new form kept his color scheme: purple body and green hair. Apparently the spell added a few years, since Spike looked same age as Twilight and others. She even had a cutie mark: a green flame, her last souvenir of being a dragon. Looking in the mirror, Spike thought that she looked... attractive.  
_"Snap out of it Spike. First of all, you like Rarity. Second of all, it's you!"_  
Then Spike noticed one more person in reflection: it was Twilight.  
_"Oh no, I can't let her see me like this."_ Spike thought.  
She started to run, almost bumping into Fluttershy. Quickly she ran down the next alley, but there was Applejack with her lasso trying to capture a running stool. Spike changed direction only to almost run into Fluttershy again, who was fortunately busy trying to keep Angel under control. Spike managed to slip past her unnoticed, all while constantly trying to find empty alley. Pinkie Pie jumping around. Rainbow Dash showing off to Scootaloo. Pinkie eating a cake. Pinkie one more time.  
Spike was so busy looking around, that she didn't notice that she was getting closer to flying cloud of shopping bags, until it was too late. Sudden collision finally forced her to stop.  
"I''m so sorry, I wasn't looking. Are you all right?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I do hope that.. " Rarity emerged from a pile of bags. She was about to finish the sentence, when she got a good look at Spike.  
"Oh my goodness!"

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Part 2

"Oh my goddess!" gasped Rarity seeing Spike laying in front of her in his (now her) new pony form.  
"Wait, I can explain." said Spike, even though she had no idea how.  
"No need darling." Rarity used her magic to move shopping bags in the form of a ring around them blocking them from view. "No one should see you like this, come, my place is right behind this corner. I'll fix you up in no time."  
"Really?! Thanks Rarity, I can't express how grateful I am." Spike ungracefully stood up and both ponies quickly got into Rarity's house.  
"Thanks again." Spike breathed with relief. She felt much more secure when she wasn't seen by everypony. "I owe you a big one."  
"Oh come one sweetie, it's nothing." Rarity was moving some stuff off-screen with her magic. "After all it's my fault that you fall in that icky mud."  
"Say what?" Spike looked on herself and noticed how dirty she was. Apparently, when they collided; Spike landed in a mud puddle, and didn't even notice in all that rush.  
_"Rarity still doesn't know that it's me." _thought Spike _"I should've known it was going too well."_  
"Ok darling, your bath is ready." Rarity revealed a bath filled with bubbly, pink-tinted water.  
"Umm, on second thought I don't think..." Spike was trying to protest, but Rarity lifted her with magic and threw into a water. Spike raised her head from foam only to be attacked by a sponges, brushes, shampoo and other cleaning implements.  
"Do you like it? It's a special beauty treatment, that I take every day, quite relaxing, wouldn''t you agree?"  
Spike couldn't help but to agree with her. Hot water was calming him down and shampoo smelled just like Rarity. Spike decided that she needed cleaning anyway so there was no point in escaping now.  
"So what was your name darling? I don't think I caught it."  
"My name? It's..." Spike looked around for any ideas. First things she saw were her and Rarity's Cutie Marks. "Flare. my name is Crystal Flare."  
"Crystal Flare? I don't think I've heard of you."  
"I'm not from Ponyville." Flare answered quickly (yeah, I'll be calling her with new name now). "I'm from...very distant place. I doubt you ever heard of it. I just came to Ponyville for The Grand Galloping Gala."  
"Ah yes, I should have guessed that."  
Crystal Flare leaned back grinning, sure that she had the situation under control. Until Rarity asked next question.  
"So, where's your dress for a party?"  
"Dress? I don't have any dress." Spike bit her tongue, but it was too late.  
"You don't have a dress for Grand Galloping Gala?" Rarity speeded up process and in second Crystal was standing next to her completely dry, clean and with hair rollers. "Darling, why didn't you say something?"  
"It's no big deal, really!" Crystal Flare tried to talk Rarity out of it, but the white unicorn had already started to measure her.  
Ex-dragon slowly backed away, but her leg tangled in one of measure tapes and Crystal fell on the floor.  
"I don't have time to make you a new dress, so I'll let you borrow one of mine." Rarity was so absorbed with browsing through dresses that she didn't notice anything. "Do you want some jewelry to it?"  
Collection of numerous necklaces and pendants floated in front of Spike's face. Her stomach reminded about her why she came to Ponyville in the first place. She quickly took one bite and her teeth gave her eminder about one of flaws of being a pony.  
"No thanks." Flare spat out her would-be lunch. "That reminds me, I don't have enough money to pay you for a dress. In fact I don't have any money at all." Flare was hoping for a last minute escape by claiming poverty.  
"Don't bother yourself, sweetie. It's on the house." Rarity summoned folding screen in front of Flare. Some weird noises came out from behind it and some odd cries from Flare. Then the screen moved revealing our heroine in a frilly pink dress and crystal slippers."It's suits you well, darling. Want see for yourself?" Rarity brought a mirror.  
"No, I don't! I can't go out looking like this." protested Flare, dying from embarrassment.  
"Hmm, you're right. It won't do." Rarity took better look on hercustomer. "Not without a makeover!"  
The purple pony tried to grab onto something, but Rarity's magic easily moved her to vanity table.  
"Any preferences about your make up darling? " asked Rarity removing hair rollers.  
"H-how about none? I don't look good with make up."  
"Nonsense honey, you will look great." Rarity applied foundation on  
Crystal Flare "Trust me."  
"I don't think it's necessary..."  
"Don't you want look fabulous tonight?" Rarity summoned comb and brushes to stylize Spike's hair.  
"Not really..."  
"You're not interested making every mare on the party jealous?"  
"No." denied Flare, (even though idea was kind funny).  
"No Special Somepony that you want to impress with new look?"  
Crystal Flare felt that her face turned red. Rarity didn't even know how close to the truth she was.  
"No!" she answered quickly, realizing too late how obviously untruthful that sounded.  
"Aha, I knew it! You got someone."  
"Well, not really, I mean kinda, but...it's complicated."  
"Why don't you tell me about it?" proposed Rarity, putting powder and blush on Spike's face. "My clients say I'm a good listener."  
Crystal Flare sighed heavily. She really wasn't in a mood to come up with new lies. Finally she decided to stick to the truth as close as possible.  
"There is one pony that I really like, " Spike stopped for a second to get sprayed with perfumes. "but sh...that pony doesn't knows about my feelings."  
"Why? Are you shy?"  
"No. I'm not... Okay maybe a little. When we're in one room I often don't know what to say and I try to do something impressive, but usually I end up doing something stupid...Can we please change the subject?"  
"Well, I can tell you one thing darling: no stallion will be able to resist you now." Rarity moved a mirror in front of Crystal Flare's face.  
She was shocked (and kinda scared). Rarity made an amazing job on her. Crystal was wearing now a frilly pink evening gown with puffy sleeves and white ruffled lace around her collar. On her back hooves were two slippers made out of (how fitting) crystal. Flare wasn't sure why Rarity gave her two slippers, not four, but then again she was new to this "four legs" things. Her face was made up with high quality, yet very subtle make up (that's why you can't see it on preview pic) and on each of her ear there was attacked a purple earring. But what mostly surprised Spike was her hair. Rarity put them into a fashionable bun,  
which gave Crystal Flare a very classy look.  
"So? Do you like it?"  
Spike resisted an urge to start screaming. It wouldn't really help situation anyway.  
"I l-love it." A forced smile showed up on her face. "Thanks Rarity."  
"No problem, hon." Rarity looked on a clock. "Loot at the time! The Gala has already started and I'm still undressed. Give me a second Flare, would you?"  
"Sure Rarity. I'll be waiting right here." said Crystal Flare crossing her finders (trying anyway, darn hooves). In a moment when Rarity went for her dress, ex-dragon rushed outside.

To Crystal's surprise it was evening already. Ponyville was fully decorated but more importantly filled with ponies from around the Equestria. And our heroine was in middle of it.  
_"Ok Spike, focus, Your top priority is to find secluded place to get out off this dress and wait out the rest of the night..." Suddenly her stomach started to grumble. "...right after finding something to eat."_  
Flare went into middle of the party, looking for a buffet. She did her best to not attract any attention, but with her new look this plan was doomed from very barely made few steps, before being surrounded by crowd of stallions  
from Canterlot.  
"Hey filly, can I buy you a drink?"  
"No thanks, they're free anyway." Spike passed the first stallion.  
"Madame, would give me an honor to and accompany me on a dance floor?"  
"Not interested." refused Flare  
"Beautiful, how about..."  
"For Celestia's sake, I just want to eat something!" Crystal shouted.  
Like on a command everypony left, just to be back second later with some kind of dish.  
_"This doesn't look good."_ Crystal was getting really nervous. One guy even tried to kiss her hoof. _"Think Spike, what do you know about Canterlot's ponies?"_  
Suddenly idea struck her mind and wily smile appeared on her face.  
"Why thank you everypony. You're all real gentlemen." said Flare with a most lady-like voice, just before attacking food like a rustic boor. Our mare ate fast, chewed loudly, with an open mouth. She even took a fork, just to use it on the wrong dish. With this turn of events, all the stallions took a step back, one even fainted burped loudly and even most stubborn stallion ran in mix of fear and Flare couldn't stop herself from laughing.  
"What happened, boys? Can't take the real mare?" Spike stroke one of  
Rarity's dramatic poses. "Is there no pony here that would ask me out?"  
"I will."  
Crystal Flare almost crashed on the floor, hearing a stallion's voice. She was sure that her behavior had scared off all of her second before falling on the ground she was caught by a pair of strong arms.  
"My names is Braeburn. Braeburn from Appleloosa. And what's yours, sugar cube?" asked stallion with a smile.  
Spike looked helplessly at Applejack's cousin (he appeared in episode "Over a Barrel", remember?) not knowing what to do. Flare also didn't know that she was being watched by your favorite unicorn (Twilight is alicorn, she doesn't count).  
_"Well, well Crystal."_ thought Rarity with a smile _"I guess you don't have to tell me who's your very special somepony anymore."more."_

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Part 3

_Just a few minutes ago Rarity had been confused why her new friend had suddenly left. Now she knew exactly what had happened (or at least that what she thought happened).  
"So this is stallion she has a crush on, he's one of Applejack's cousins I think. I must admit, they do make a cute couple" she mused to herself.  
Rarity continued observing, curious as to what would happen next.  
"My names is Braeburn. Braeburn from Appleloosa. And what's your name sugarcube?" asked stallion, still holding Crystal Flare (AKA Spike) in his hooves.  
"Me? I-I..." Spike tried to keep it together, but it wasn't easy with brash stallion holding him so close and in such an affectionate way.  
"C-C-Could you let me go first?"  
"Anything for girl as pretty as you." Braeburn said as he put her down.  
A second later a cloud of dust was the only thing remaining, Crystal had made a run for the nearest exit.  
"Oh, the poor thing." thought Rarity "She's even more shy than I imagined."  
Luckily Rarity had mastered a few new spells, including one on 'clothing location' (very useful, considering how big her wardrobe is.) She quickly cast it on Crystal's dress. Approaching the surprised stallion, she offered her assistance.  
"Hello there, I saw that you met my very shy friend, Crystal Flare."_

Meanwhile in other part of Ponyville our ex dragon was slowly recovering.  
"Well, that could have went with less panicking" thought Flare catching her breath, "but at least I lost him."  
Crystal quickly assessed her situation and it was not good. The town was too crowded, there was no way Spike would find any deserted place (not without leaving Ponyville anyway).  
"There's no way I can get that far on four legs." She had been so scared of the mare's romantic advances that she could not even remember how she ran this far on her four legs.  
Suddenly her stomach started to grumble.  
"Ooh, come on! Haven't you caused enough problems for one day?"  
Her stomach answered with more grumbling.  
"Arrgh, fine!" Flare noticed a restaurant "At least everything is free today."  
Spike picked a table in a far corner and ordered some random dish from the menu.  
"Enjoying your hooves, ex-dragon boy?"  
Seeing no one, the transformed dragon called out softly, "Discord?"  
There was nothing around her but ponies eating there meals.  
"A little lower."  
Crystal Flare looked down and noticed that one of the ponies had a cutie mark shaped like a Draconequus. And it moved!  
"Discord, what are you doing there?"  
Spike noticed that cutie mark's owner looked at her confused. She smiled to him nervously and pretended to read something from the menu. Then the meal came, a roasted chicken, which suddenly poofed and Discord's head appeared on it.  
The dinner spoke to Spike "Is that better?"  
Trying not to attract any attention Spike whispered "I'm not talking to somepony's butt, so let's say, yes. What are you doing here?"  
"Just checking on you. How's being a pony?"  
"Don't ask" grumbled Spike. "How long before I can change back?"  
"Well, I can't tell exactly" Discord looked at his watch, but it had seven hands, with two going backwards. "But I would say two hours, maybe less."  
"That's like forever" sighed Spike.  
"Don't worry boy, as soon as I'm able to fix you I'll give you a signal to hide, so no one will see you transform." said Discord while tearing off one of his own chicken legs and taking a big bite.  
"A signal?" purple pony looked at her meal with skepticism.  
"Yes, I was thinking about something subtle, like... everyone's head will start flashing green." Spike gave him very meaningful glance. "Orange? Alright, alright, I'll think about something more subtle." Discord finished with the leg and flung a bone aside "Anyway, enjoy your meal."  
Discord poofed turning it back into normal chicken. Crystal stared silently at the meal for a few seconds before ordering something else.  
A short time later the waiter brought her a bouquet of roses.  
Surprised, Crystal asked, "Is this my food?"  
"No madam, it's a present from that stallion over there." said waiter pointing behind Flare.  
She looked and immediately turned back. On a opposite side of a room Braeburn was waving from another table, trying to get Crystal's attention.  
"What is he doing here?!"  
"Stay calm Spike" the boy dragon thought, "just ignore him and he will get the message that you're not interested." Spike picked up the menu and pretended to read it carefully.  
Meanwhile, few tables away, Rarity called to a unicorn waiter.  
"Pardon me, can I ask for little favor of you?"  
"Sorry lady, I'm busy."  
"Is that so?" Rarity showed him a huge gem "would this possibly change your mind?"  
WHOOSH  
Crystal Flare looked up from the menu she'd been hiding behind to see very happy and excited unicorn waiter standing next to her.  
"I'm truly sorry miss, but you can't sit here, you see this table is, emm.. Its reserved, yes that's it, it's reserved."  
"Reserved? Wouldn't there be some kind of note or sign on the table if..."  
"Yes, it is definitely reserved." interrupted here waiter "In fact..."  
WHOOSH WHOOSH. In blink of the eye waiter return carrying some random pony he had picked.  
"... The pony that made the reservations just arrived!"  
"Do you have muffins?" asked the newly seated Pegasus  
"Sure, whatever" the waiter answered.  
Getting up from the table, and anxious not to attract more attention  
Spike started to walk away, "umm, okay, guess I will..."  
"Don't worry madam, we already took care of finding you a new seat" the waiter said as he hustled the purple pony to another table.  
WHOOSH Suddenly Spike was sitting face to face with Braeburn. (Also somepony put candles on the table, dimmed the lights and ordered romantic music.)  
"Why me?" thought Flare.  
"Hi there again sugarcube." said Braeburn with a smile, clearly still oblivious about Spike's thoughts. "Funny how we keep bumping into each other, isn't it? I guess fate just means for us to be together."  
"I-I-I... gotta use the little fillies's room" Spike said as he stood up.  
"Oh, OK" said Braeburn with more that a little disappointment on his  
face. "Take all the time you need, just make sure you find your way back to me" he lifted Crystal's dainty hoof and kissed it.  
Crystal Flare stood up and walked away from a table, though she fought the urge to break into a gallop. But the stallion was watching her all the time. He'd just start another chase after her, so she really went to bathroom.  
Once there, she turned on the tap and splashed her face with cold water.  
"Careful darling, you don't want to ruin your make-up."  
Spike turned around to see a familiar white unicorn.  
"Rarity, I'm so glad to see you, you gotta help me. There is this guy that keeps hitting on me..."  
"Calm down Crystal, I've seen everything."  
"You did?" asked Spike, surprised.  
"Yes, I saw you together next to my house. And while Braeburn seems to be a nice guy, he's also a bit... pushy" ex-dragon nodded her head in agreement. "Well, don't worry about anything darling, I have a plan."  
Rarity used her magic to levitate some few cards.  
"Just go talk to him. I'll be showing you those cards with written what to say to 'control' him a little."  
"Are you sure this is going to work?"  
"Sweetie, trust me on this one." Rarity flicked her hair with hoof. "I know how to work with a man."  
Spike thought about all those times Rarity convinced him into doing work  
for her and had to admit she was right.  
Returning to the table a calmer pony, or at least as calm as a boy dragon turned into a female pony with an unwanted suitor could be. Crystal Flare sat near Braeburn, she put one hoof on the table to conceal that the other one held the magic cards Rarity had given her.  
"I hope this works" the disguised dragon thought as he started reading. "Braeburn, I know you're attracted to me, but you must understand, I'm a very shy pony. I'm just not used to having a handsome stallion like yourself pursuing me." Spike saw where this was going, he'd seen Rarity talk to men like this just before she broke off a romance with them.  
Magically the card had changed to a new one and Spike continued reading.  
"I cherish the fact that you're in love with me and this very difficult for me to say." Braeburn reached over and gently touched Crystal's hoof which distracted her for a moment, but she forced a smile and looked back at the card. "Difficult for me to say because of my shyness," the card magically changed again. "That I love you too."  
Spike smiled at the stallion taking a second to realize what he'd just said. Just as he did he found himself being embraced and kissed by Braeburn. Suddenly Spike heard ringing of bells.  
"Does that mean I AM in love with Braeburn?" the very confused dragon boy thought as the kiss continued.  
"What's that?" asked Braeburn as he at last released the liplock.  
"It's town hall's bell" said Rarity. She dabbed tears from her eyes with a magical hankie seeing what she thought was the beginning of a great love she'd helped get started. "But they shouldn't start ringing until midnight" she said as the mystery chased romance from her mind.  
Then the bell changed to the sound of some dog's barking. Crystal was just recovering from the kiss and realized that must be Discord's signal. Conveniently everyone got confused by the bell barking, so Flare had a bit of head start before Braeburn noticed she was gone.  
But not too much of one.  
"Sugarcube" he called out to her as she left the restaurant.  
Crystal Flare ran down the street and noticed Discord waving to her from a small bush. She jumped right into it, loosing one crystal slipper in the way.  
Braeburn showed up seconds later. He lifted lost slipper but didn't see his Special Somepony anywhere. Without hesitation he ran to first mare she saw and asked her to asked her to try it on.  
"This won't end well" sighed Flare watching her would-be boyfriend assaulting every female he saw with crystal slipper.  
"Maybe, but look at bright side, at least you may have learned something" a smiling Discord said.  
"...To never ask you for a transformation spell?"  
"I hoped something about friendship, but that will work." Discord pulled of a piece of paper and filled it with text. "I was sending a much worse letter to Princess Celestia."  
He quickly finished it and then turned it into origami Rainbow Dash. The paper pegasus flew up and soared towards Canterlot.  
"Still, I'm all recharged now. You're sure you don't want me to turn you into stallion?"  
"Yes, I'm sure" the purple pony said as she watched Braeburn continue his frantic search. "Just change me back into a dragon before anyone finds us."  
"Very well, the angry customer is always right." Discord took a step back and then pulled his hand together, like he was trying to make fist.  
A green ball of energy showed up and once again Spike was blinded by a flash of light.  
"You did it, I got claws back!" said Spike happily, then realized how high his voice was. "Discord, I'm still female!"  
"This wasn't what you wanted? You did say 'just to a dragon'."  
"Discord!" Spike was about to burst with anger, when he heard Rarity calling for Crystal Flare, and she was walking to their hiding place.  
"Argh, how does she knows we're here?"  
"I don't know." Discord shrugged his arms. "Maybe she has a locating spell on that dress (which you're still wearing, by the way)."  
"She can't see me like this." Spike was close to panicking.  
"Don't worry, I'll teleport you to somewhere you won't stand out." Before Spike could stop him, Discord snapped his fingers and our heroine dissipated.  
Our purple dragon reappeared in the volcanic area. Seconds later, she was surrounded by teenage dragons, trying to get her affection. Spike later regained his normal form and gender, but not before rejecting several offers of marriage.  
Since then, Spike has never tried transformation spells again. 

THE END


End file.
